Emily (redorchard) wrote in f3_i,
Emily
redorchard
f3_i

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pardon me i am having a metafictional moment

here we go. i wrote this a while back to cheer myself up after reading some really depressing fic. Especially for Sami, Queen of Metafiction. i suppose it counts as an outtake :D

Muse: Lalalala :::knitting a fic:::: Lalalala :::Minding own business:::::

Jack: Uh, pardon me...

Muse: Lalalala

Jack: ‘ello?

Muse: Oh, I’m sorry. Did you say hello?

Jack: No, I said ‘ello. But that’s close enough.

Muse: Oh. Well, if it isn’t Captain Sparrow!! What can I do for you?

Jack: Sorry to bother you, luv, I can see you’re busy, but I’d really like to share with you my sense of moral outrage.

Muse: Er...what? What seems to be the problem?

Jack: This! :::waves new fic:::

Muse: Oh, you read that, did you?

Jack: Yes indeed, and I have a bone to pick with you.

Muse: Guess you didn’t like that one much.

Jack: Like it? It ruined my whole bloody day!

Muse: But I gave it a happy ending! It’s even got some nookie in it. What’s the problem?

Jack: The problem is, luv, you and all your scary little writer minions. You’ve got a lot of gall, angsting a fellow half to death without even asking nicely first!!

Muse: It’s called artistic license, my friend.

Jack: Artistic license.

Muse: Yes.

Jack: Well, what the hell is that, then?

Muse: Kind of like...a letter of marque.

Jack: Ah. Well. Where can I get one?

Muse: An artistic license?

Jack: Aye, that’s the one.

Muse: Well...you...uh...have to apply for it. And renew it every year.

Jack: Izzat so?

Muse: Yes.

Jack: Well, if I had one, your name would be ‘Testicle.’

Muse: WHAT? You’re from a period movie !! You’re not even supposed to know that word, are you???

Jack: You’d be amazed at the words I know.

Muse: That’s not fair!!

Jack: Artistic whatsit, sweetheart. Or should I say...Miss Testicle.
:::Raspberry::::::

Muse: Eew!! Oh, fine. As long as I don’t have to go by it in public.
Humph.

Jack: Heheheheh.

:::: ........ ::::::

::::: ........ ::::::

Jack: Nookie, eh?

Muse: :::pouting:::::: Yes.

Jack: .....What’s that mean?

Muse: Ha !!! So much for your impressive vocabulary!!

Jack: Speak up!! What is it?? You haven’t got me doing anything...embarrassing, do you?

Muse: You didn’t even read the whole thing, did you !!!???????

Jack: Well...er....

Muse: Oh, here. Good grief. ::::pages rustle::::: See?

Jack: ::::::: ........ :::::::::

Muse: So? Does it meet with your approval, Mister Fussy Pirate Pants?

Jack: :::snicker:::: Oh.

Muse: Yeah, I was kinda proud of that one myself.

Jack: Your name’s still Testicle.

Muse: We’ll just see about that.
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