fiendly neighborhood novelist (heathencorp) wrote in f3_i,
fiendly neighborhood novelist
heathencorp
f3_i

dalek's company

in 2007, after three horrendously successful years, the bbc inexplicably cancelled Dr Who, leaving many actors who were previously unemplyed for fifteen years once again unemployed. two of them, john dalek and j irving cyberman, were forced to become roomates. this is their story.

credits:
dalek's company! starring... john dalek! j irving cyberman! and introducing busty barnes as sissy!

dalek:
cyber-MAN. did-you-take-out-the-garBAGE?

cyberman:
it'syourturntotakeitout

dalek:
i-do-not-take-out-garBAGE! it-is-not-part-of-my-agreeMENT!

cyberman:
that'sit. i'mtiredofyounotdoingyourshare. andi'mtiredofyoutouchingmythings. i'mdrawingalinedownthemiddleoftheapartment.

dalek:
oh-SURE! real-maTURE, cyberMAN!

cyberman:
thisismyside. thatisyourside. istayonmyside. youstayonyourside.

dalek:
this-SIDE? or-is-it-this-SIDE? what-line-is-IT? this-LINE? or-this-LINE?

cyberman:
stopitdalek! isaidstopit!

dalek:
i-just-don't-see-the-LINE! show-me-where-the-line-IS!

cyberman:
thisisrediculous. weshouldn'tfightlikethis.

dalek:
i-am-soRRY! i-have-been-unFAIR! let's-go-out-for-suSHI!

cyberman:
mytreat. butnotthesquidkind!

audience:
aaaawwwwww!

----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
dalek:
sisSY! i-am-bringing-the-master-dalek-home-for-dinNER!

sissy:
but dalek! you didn't warn me and i've just burned the roast!

dalek:
inferior-huMAN! ex-ter-min-ATE!

sissy:
now dalek, what did the doctor tell you about your temper?

dalek:
you-are-RIGHT! i-shouldn't-have-flown-off-the-handle-like-THAT! don't-worry-about-the-ROAST! i-will-call-for-take-OUT!

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sissy:
dalek! can you come help me unplug the toilet?

dalek:
why-ME? are-you-saying-my-limbs-look-like-plunGERS??

cyberman:
ican'tbelieveyoujustsaidthat. i'msurprisedthatyouwouldbesoraciallyinsensitive.

sissy:
i'm sorry dalek. i didn't mean it that way at all. i only meant i'm not strong enough!

dalek:
oh. in-that-CASE you-are-forgiVEN! let's-go-out-for-iceCREAM!

sissy:
that's the best idea i've heard all day.

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sissy:
look who came to visit, everyone! it's k-9!

dalek:
how-is-it-goING?

k-9:
i came by to inspect your new domicile. i find it quite adequate.

cyberman:
thankyou. youknowhowmuchthatmeanstous.

k-9:
detecting a partially faded demarkation down the center of the domicile. query as to it's purpose?

cyberman:
thatwastokeepdalekonhisside. hedidnotcomply.

dalek:
it-was-redicuLOUS! how-was-i-to-reach-the-bathROOM?

cyberman:
whydoyouevenneedabathroom? you'rebarelymorethenapepperpot.

dalek:
you-take-that-BACK you-half-flesh-andROID!

sissy:
oh you guys... not again...
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