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Below are the 10 most recent journal entries recorded in Fan Fic Fill-Ins' LiveJournal:

Monday, May 7th, 2007
3:01 am
[heathencorp]
commercial of the daleks
dalek sec: 'we-have-come-for-you-superior-soup-and-salad-BAR!'

dalek thay: 'as-i-understand-it-sweet-tomatoes-is-good-for-only-one-THING! they-are-good-at-SALAD!'

dalek sec: 'you-are-incorect-dalek-THAY! they-are-also-good-at-soup-and-SIDES!'

dalek thay: 'i-do-not-believe-YOU!'

dalek sec: 'do-not-knock-it-until-you-have-TRIED-IT!'

dalek thay: 'you-cannot-make-me-eat-SOUP!'

dalek sec: 'try-IT!'

a side panel opens and a tentacle emerges to take a spoon of soup inside. a pause. then...

dalek thay: 'annalysis-comPLETE! soup-is-acceptABLE!'

caption: 'sweet tomatoes! we've got something for everyone!'
Friday, April 13th, 2007
12:26 am
[heathencorp]
dalek's company
in 2007, after three horrendously successful years, the bbc inexplicably cancelled Dr Who, leaving many actors who were previously unemplyed for fifteen years once again unemployed. two of them, john dalek and j irving cyberman, were forced to become roomates. this is their story.

credits:
dalek's company! starring... john dalek! j irving cyberman! and introducing busty barnes as sissy!

dalek:
cyber-MAN. did-you-take-out-the-garBAGE?

cyberman:
it'syourturntotakeitout

dalek:
i-do-not-take-out-garBAGE! it-is-not-part-of-my-agreeMENT!

cyberman:
that'sit. i'mtiredofyounotdoingyourshare. andi'mtiredofyoutouchingmythings. i'mdrawingalinedownthemiddleoftheapartment.

dalek:
oh-SURE! real-maTURE, cyberMAN!

cyberman:
thisismyside. thatisyourside. istayonmyside. youstayonyourside.

dalek:
this-SIDE? or-is-it-this-SIDE? what-line-is-IT? this-LINE? or-this-LINE?

cyberman:
stopitdalek! isaidstopit!

dalek:
i-just-don't-see-the-LINE! show-me-where-the-line-IS!

cyberman:
thisisrediculous. weshouldn'tfightlikethis.

dalek:
i-am-soRRY! i-have-been-unFAIR! let's-go-out-for-suSHI!

cyberman:
mytreat. butnotthesquidkind!

audience:
aaaawwwwww!

----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
dalek:
sisSY! i-am-bringing-the-master-dalek-home-for-dinNER!

sissy:
but dalek! you didn't warn me and i've just burned the roast!

dalek:
inferior-huMAN! ex-ter-min-ATE!

sissy:
now dalek, what did the doctor tell you about your temper?

dalek:
you-are-RIGHT! i-shouldn't-have-flown-off-the-handle-like-THAT! don't-worry-about-the-ROAST! i-will-call-for-take-OUT!

-----------------------------------------------------------------------
sissy:
dalek! can you come help me unplug the toilet?

dalek:
why-ME? are-you-saying-my-limbs-look-like-plunGERS??

cyberman:
ican'tbelieveyoujustsaidthat. i'msurprisedthatyouwouldbesoraciallyinsensitive.

sissy:
i'm sorry dalek. i didn't mean it that way at all. i only meant i'm not strong enough!

dalek:
oh. in-that-CASE you-are-forgiVEN! let's-go-out-for-iceCREAM!

sissy:
that's the best idea i've heard all day.

-----------------------------------------------------------------------------
sissy:
look who came to visit, everyone! it's k-9!

dalek:
how-is-it-goING?

k-9:
i came by to inspect your new domicile. i find it quite adequate.

cyberman:
thankyou. youknowhowmuchthatmeanstous.

k-9:
detecting a partially faded demarkation down the center of the domicile. query as to it's purpose?

cyberman:
thatwastokeepdalekonhisside. hedidnotcomply.

dalek:
it-was-redicuLOUS! how-was-i-to-reach-the-bathROOM?

cyberman:
whydoyouevenneedabathroom? you'rebarelymorethenapepperpot.

dalek:
you-take-that-BACK you-half-flesh-andROID!

sissy:
oh you guys... not again...
Sunday, June 18th, 2006
6:25 pm
[heathencorp]
coming soon (in sami-time): jack o'neil, john crichton, frank parker, and jean-luc picard sit around a table in the back room of a bar, drink beer, play poker, and compare notes about time-loops!
Friday, December 2nd, 2005
9:43 pm
[heathencorp]
lost fill-in!
hurley sits on a low sand-hill while jack and kate and sawyer and michael and jin talk about The Big Mysteries not far away.

"hi!" a really smoking hot girl sits down next to him.
"uh... hi..."
"i'm laura." she smiles dazzlingly and he almost falls over from the force of it.
"i'm-- uh-- i'm--"
"hurley, i know. i came to find you."
"uh-- me? what? why?"
"they're all so serious all the time," she waves her hand at the Important People, "you're more fun." she leans in, squishing her boobers in his direction.
"yeah, uh, you're like, coming on to me. why? the fat funny guy never gets the girl."
"don't youthink it's about time that changed?" she leans in again. one strap of her tanktop slides off her shoulder.
"..."
"well, if you're not into it, that's fine. i just thought-- well, you see, i'm really really flexible..." and she lifts one leg lear over her head.
hurley's eyes pop out of his head, then he jumps to his feet, throws her over his shoulder, and runs off into the woods. "screw the rules! let's go!"
Friday, June 24th, 2005
12:39 am
[heathencorp]
untitled opus written on a napkin at work:
"'ello, lovely!"
"wha? did you say something, jonas?"
"me? no..."
"hmm... must be hearing things..."
"ova 'ere!"
"wha? who?"
"it's me, luv!"
"gah! jack! i'm supposed to be working! why're you here?"
"well, luv, i thought you could use a little... distractin', if ya savvy"
"uh... you do realize that you're a voice in my head at the moment, right?"
"i am? well, bugger. nevermind."
real world intrudes in the form of someone wanting lunch
"wait, where'd you go?"
"away-- like ya said to. ya changin' yer mind now?"
"well, it really is pretty boring here, and a wild, possibly bi-curious lecherous and lacivious real world intrudes again pirate might be just what i need... are you listening to me?"
"i'm sorry, luv, i just got distracted by yer beer"
"i thought you liked rum"
"a good import beer is a decent subsitute. you don't sell rum"
"sigh"
Wednesday, March 23rd, 2005
11:30 pm
[heathencorp]
Thursday, February 24th, 2005
9:05 am
[heathencorp]
a fangirl timeline
ahem:
after eight years of saving the world with toothpicks, macgyver was recruited by the special ops and trained, and did many missions in secret. this required him to take on a new identity-- jack o'neil (after his friend who helped him save the world with toothpicks), and he was given the job at the sgc. there he met general hammond, who was actually william scully-- dana scully's father, who had faked his death several years earlier to take on the sgc job while severing ties to the previous life he'd led, and also taking on a new name. this was after scully had met mulder, and they spent the rest of ten years chasing the greys, which happen to actually be the asgard; the x-files branch of the government had stollen some of their cloning data from the sg1 branch, and was trying to mass produce them to study them, when really it was the black oil they were after. they were very confused, and as the various parts of the government never talk to eachother, they didn't know what they were doing. when mulder got into area 51 that time, what he saw were the retro-engineered x-302 and subsequent ships, tested by none other then jack o'neill.

now that ben browder is to join the cast, it will continue as such: meanwhile, astronaut john crighton happened to be testing a new type of engine (designed for the retroengineering program, though he didn't know that's who was funding him) and was slingshotted into a much brighter and more colorful part of the universe, where he met many aliens, got married, had a baby, and came back. once back, he reported his findings and was recruited into the sgc, once again taking on a new name (which i don't know yet), and replacing jack o'neill who is getting rather old to be traipsing about the galaxy killing goa'uld.

i need to see that episode i missed with claudia black and see if i can work he in, too.
Sunday, August 8th, 2004
11:22 pm
[heathencorp]
A Sith Lord Speaks
Ahem. Where shall I begin? I suppose introductions would be in order, though I'm sure you all know who I am-- I am Darth Vader.

I have many things I would like to say to you, my adoring fans and minions, but the purpose of my speech here today is simply thus: I would like to correct the mistaken idea that I, Darth Vader, began as the winy little git known to all as Anakin Skywalker, as portrayed in the recent Episode One and Episode Two. Those movies were merely a Rebel plot meant to make me seem less threatening. While that particular Anakin's snivley complaining explained much about the early personality of Luke, you really must see that a Sith Lord such as I am could not come from such silly roots. How could that infuriating, arrogant little boy become me?

You see. there was a mixup in the Dreaded Paperwork of the Empire. My original name *was* Anakin Skywalker. And that boy *does* currently hold the name-- but it is merely a coincidence. It is also a coincidence that his wife holds the same name as mine did, and that we are both missing one of our hands. Blame it on the Mitichlorians (wich are really just a Rebel conspiracy anyway, set up to make our powers seem less unstoppable and to encourage people to resist); they're such terrible keepers of paperwork. They should all be fired, but their union refuses to allow it.

But what is the purpose of such a plot, you ask? Well, I do not pretend to understand the paltry minds of the Rebel leaders. All these movies and their lies have accomplished is to shorten the timespan so that not only is the Empire a newcomer, having existed not mroe than a single generation, but also the Rebellion is a shallow upstart, calling for freedom when most of those under our... ahem... protection still remember other ways. If they were trying to undo us, they have also undone themselves.

In conclusion: Rebels are evil and will all die.

That is all.
Wednesday, July 28th, 2004
1:33 am
[redorchard]
pardon me i am having a metafictional moment
here we go. i wrote this a while back to cheer myself up after reading some really depressing fic. Especially for Sami, Queen of Metafiction. i suppose it counts as an outtake :D

Read more...Collapse )

Current Mood: amused
12:45 am
[heathencorp]
i can't sleep, so here's a little dittie that's been rolling around my head for a bit...

knock, knock, knock. Carter looks up from her book on the finer points of quantum mechanics and wormholes, stifles her laughter, wipes her eyes, and gets up to answer the door.

Teal'c: I have encountered an emergency
Carter: What? What's wrong? Did you call the general? she grabs her coat and is about to go after him, but he looks uncomfortable Teal'c?
Teal'c: I have... Run out of the 'eye pencil' of the color known as 'charcoal'
Carter: You what?
Teal'c: I believe you heard me
Carter: Um... That's an emergency?
Teal'c: Did you believe that my eyelids are naturally so lustrously dark?
Carter: You know, I never really thought about it.
Teal'c: Lt Col Carter. This is most disconcerting. May I come in?

cut to the two of them going through cater's makeup box, trying to find a proper color.

Teal'c: This is most unfortunate. I had hoped that you would have the approriate color, but it seems you do not-- though you do have 'electric blue' in great profusion.
Carter: How about a cup of tea?
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